Spring Cleaning: Midlife Male Empties His Closet…All Must Go!

Spring Cleaning: Midlife Male Empties His Closet…All Must Go!

Marie Kondo Eat Your Heart Out!

Hey friends! 

Last night. Rather than reviewing and proofreading today’s text, I decided to write a last-minute script and post on what I did with my closet. 😉



We see a woman, WIFE, nursing a 3-month-old baby and reading a book aloud to a two and half-year-old toddler on the king-size bed of the master bedroom surrounded by books, building blocks, and stuffed animals. Her husband, ME, is looking at the closet, which is bursting at the seams with clothes, shoes, and accessories. 

Hey babe, could you give me an hour? I’m going to clean my closet.

(turning to face him)
Nice, it’s been about a year or two.

I am taking everything out.

Haha, sometimes it feels like that.

(shaking his head)
No, literally all of it. I’m starting a new closet.

What do you mean, all of it?


I’m not sure if midlife is knocking at my door or if I’m just ready for a change, but this afternoon I decided to clear out my entire closet. I got rid of everything from my “lucky shirts” to my special occasion sets, the saver combo that always fits and saves the day, and even the clothes I’ve held onto for years. I also got rid of the huge rack of ties that I had accumulated over the years.

My closet had become a mix of things that didn’t represent who I am or how I want to show up in the world. I rarely dress up for life or work these days, and I don’t feel the need to wear certain brands for status. It was time for a purge.

One of the reasons my closet had become so cluttered was because of my family’s tradition of passing clothes down. While I appreciate my dad’s love for me, I didn’t share his taste in clothing (he is almost 77!) or his values on brands. I also didn’t appreciate the not-so-subtle hint that his clothes didn’t fit me. “Hey, you have to lose weight!” is a recurring punch in the face I don’t want to take anymore. We share the first and last names. We don’t have to share the closet.

As I cleared out my closet, I was left with a lot of questions about the role that clothes play in our lives. What does our closet say about us? Why do we hold onto certain items? What memories do we attach to our clothing? Who do we dress up for? And what does it say about our bodies and our self-worth?

For the past 5 years, I’ve been struggling a lot with losing weight. I had 3 drawers of clothes that don’t fit, stored for when I get back in shape. No more. Adiós.

Cleaning our closets declutters our lives, simplifying and streamlining our possessions. We let go of what no longer serves us to make room for new possibilities. It’s also a chance to confront consumerism, fast fashion, and our impact on the environment.

For me, this spring cleaning was a way to detach from old memories and attachments to embrace a healthier mindset. A detox and a reset. Our relationship with clothes is complex, as they reflect our evolving personality, style, and identity. I want my closet to reflect my values and my lifestyle. It’s time for a new beginning, one that I will create for myself.

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