The Path to Authentic Freedom

Meeting people’s expectations may lead to an unhappy and unfulfilled life. We may find ourselves seeking approval and validation from others, believing that their opinions hold the key to our self-worth and success. It’s easy to get caught up in the overwhelming pressure of others to be, act, and do as they want, often losing ourselves and our purpose in the world. However, this reliance on external expectations can stifle our true potential and prevent us from embracing our authentic selves. 

In this post, I explore the detrimental effects of seeking approval and validation from external sources. By breaking free from these expectations, you can discover your true identities to pave your unique path and make a meaningful contribution to the world.

The Heavy Burden of External Expectations

External expectations, whether imposed by society, family, or peers, may confine our potential and hinder our personal growth. Through my own experiences and working with clients, I have witnessed the damaging consequences of seeking approval and validation from external sources. Here are a few to consider:

1. Loss of self-worth: Relying on external validation for your self-worth means that your self-esteem becomes contingent on others’ opinions. If you don’t receive the approval you seek, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and a constant need for validation.
2. Lack of authenticity: When you constantly seek approval from others, you may be tempted to change your thoughts, behaviors, or appearance to fit their expectations. This can lead to a loss of authenticity as you prioritize external validation over expressing your true self.
3. Emotional instability: Depending on external validation for your emotional well-being can be precarious. If you receive praise and approval, you may feel good temporarily, but your emotional state becomes vulnerable to any criticism or rejection. This can lead to emotional roller coasters and a lack of emotional stability.
4. Limited personal growth: Seeking validation from others can hinder personal growth because you may become focused on meeting their expectations rather than pursuing your own goals and aspirations. It can prevent you from taking risks, exploring new ideas, or stepping out of your comfort zone, all of which are essential for personal development.
5. Manipulation and exploitation: When you are overly concerned with gaining approval, you may become susceptible to manipulation and exploitation by others who recognize your vulnerability. They may take advantage of your need for validation, leading you to engage in behaviors or make choices that are not in your best interest.
6. Comparison and self-judgment: Constantly seeking approval from external sources often involves comparing yourself to others. This can lead to a cycle of self-judgment and dissatisfaction, as you may feel inadequate or inferior when comparing yourself to those who seem to receive more validation.

While seeking some level of external validation is natural and can provide useful feedback, it becomes problematic when it dominates your sense of self-worth and governs your decisions. It’s important to develop a healthy sense of self-acceptance and internal validation, valuing your own opinions, beliefs, and accomplishments. Building self-confidence and focusing on personal growth based on your own values and aspirations can help mitigate the dangers associated with excessive reliance on external validation.

Embracing Authenticity, Your Path to Freedom

Conforming to societal expectations to meet predefined milestones can negatively impact our well-being and individuality. These expectations are endless: what to wear, drive, study, what kind of work to do, to work for others or to have your own business, what to believe, who should you love, get married, live together, have children or not, work full-time, stay close to family or venture abroad, etc. 

Expectations become limiting beliefs that hinder our self-confidence and personal development. A study conducted by Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned social scientist, reveals that the fear of not meeting societal expectations can limit one’s ability to express vulnerability, hindering personal connections and authentic relationships. This emotional burden, along with limiting beliefs, can make it difficult to recognize and express our unique qualities, abilities, talents, and aspirations, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and disconnected. Embracing authenticity becomes the catalyst for personal transformation.

Unleashing Your Unique Path

Breaking away from external expectations is not easy. I know. Your friends, government, teachers, university, parents, boss, or even your spouse may want you to conform to: their ways, their system, or to choose among the predetermined options. Most likely you will have to break away from social expectations more than once in your life. That is why self-awareness and authenticity are so important to stay on our own path. Being authentic means living in alignment with our core values, beliefs, and aspirations, rather than conforming to external pressures. This is the moment where our individuality flourishes, and we pursue what truly resonates with us, so we can make our ultimate contribution to the world. This leads to a greater sense of happiness and purpose.

The Transformative Journey to Self-Acceptance and Fulfillment

Emancipating from other people’s expectations is a transformative journey. As we have noted, seeking approval and validation from others may lead to doubt, inaction, frustration, diminished self-confidence, anxiety, and even depression. It’s time to shed this burden, embrace ourselves and our uniqueness to reclaim our power; the power to break free from what others want for us and pave our own path. 

In a world that constantly demands conformity, emancipating ourselves from other people’s expectations becomes an act of rebellion. It’s a journey that leads to authenticity, self-acceptance, and personal fulfillment. By unleashing our true selves and paving our own path, we leave a lasting impact on the world. Remember, the world needs you to be who you were created to be. So, take that courageous step toward authenticity and uniqueness, and watch your life transform.